Dean had no patience. He enjoyed rushing every idea that came to his head. This personality trait of his, in hindsight, is the ingredient that pushed us out the door and into the bars and halls where we’d start to make our name. I liked the idea of writing songs, however, Dean leaned towards our improvisational roots. This difference between us was the catalyst that set the wheels in motion. For example, Dean signed us up for the 2011 Online Warped Tour Battle of the Bands without consulting me.dan and dean 001 I emerged from my bedroom one morning to the news that we were officially signed up for this ridiculous contest. At the time, I was a little annoyed because we had no songs or image. This left me with one option. Create them.

For the first time ever, we now found ourselves writing songs together. This proved to be a difficult undertaking because poor Deano couldn’t understand simple song structure. “Come in on 4” I’d say before starting the song. When 4 came, Dean didn’t. So, it hit me. This music theory stuff isn’t important to The Dean Project. Rhythm, tone quality and time signatures are all just suggestions. We were never out to compete with other bands. We weren’t interested in pissing contests. They get you nowhere and take all the fun from performing. Our focus was to just be The Dean Project. Little did I know, this Warped Tour thing would help solidify our web presence as an official act. However, In my mind, it was all satire. A commentary on how indie and commercial music are all built around false virtues. Performance art. But to those unhip, close-minded consumers of our work, we were barely talented kids just struggling to put songs together. It was a fine line to walk, especially for an unestablished act. We simply tried to Blur the lines between art, music, comedy and life.

We knew people wouldn’t understand what they were seeing or hearing. We knew some people would think of us as “wannabes”,  “outcasts” or just plain bad. It would be up to us to give whoever was at that particular bar, on that particular night, a show and make them feel something. I was always a believer that people don’t buy songs. They buy feelings. Even if the songs were regarded as garbage. If we managed to make you feel something or react in any way, we would call it a success. If we inspired dialog, commentary, jokes or banter it meant more to me than selling T shirts or growing my social profile. We were the growling folk dudes with a nutcracker. Who wasn’t talking?

 

 

 

 

When I got into music in junior high, my natural inclination was to gravitate to the drums. My other friends had picked up playing the stringed rock instruments, so it was really my only natural choice. I still remember coming home from school in grade eight and to my delight my parents had purchased and laid out all over the kitchen, my very first drum kit. It was a bottom on the barrel kit with no bells or whistles, however, it dean 005would be more than enough for me. I played that kit every night after school with my friends Phil, Paul and Alex on bass and guitar. I had no formal training, so these jams would be my lessons and Green Day would be my teacher. We called ourselves Shiny Pencil and recorded a track list of covers straight to tape . We had the audacity to sell those tapes to the other kids at school. We were in fact, the only “band” in our grade and immediately started to gain a little bit of attention. We didn’t know what to do with the attention. Shit, we weren’t even musicians at this point. But, that’s not where this story is going. Years later, when I was actually playing shows in serious high-school rock bands, I sold that first drum kit of mine to Dean.

Dean had no idea what to do with the drums. He didn’t understand what he was hearing, I guess. He just hit everything at random and would tell me that he learned how to play “Voodoo” by Godsmack.  I told him that that was not “Voodoo”. So, I picked up a guitar to demonstrate rhythm, and The Dean Project was born.

My first guitar was a blue Telecaster. And boy, was it ever a piece of shit. I scraped all the paint off with a Loonie and had the ugliest Zebra striped strap. I would head over to Dean’s Mom’s house, climb down to the basement where the now junk drums lay with this guitar and we create our brand of noise pollution. I remember Dean had this old boom box that had a record function. He suggested we record an album. I laughed, of course. “What album? What songs? What band? Jesus Christ, Okay, hit record.”

We recorded whatever came to mind at the time. The songs I remember most were “Big House on Wheels” and a horrendous version of “In Da Club”. Embarrassing as it was, I loved it. I couldn’t sing or play. Dean couldn’t sing or play. But, I guess that`s what made me love it so much. There was always an energy between Dean and I. We loved music. But more than that, we loved playing with people perception of us. We shared a common love for what I called art and he called work. “Work” is an old carnie term for swindle or lie. And I guess that we did a lot of work, but it was never to take money from people. It was never a bait and switch type situation because we weren’t, and never wanted to be, business people. So, I would tell him that it’s not work if it’s purely to tell a story and bend people’s perceptions. Everything we gave, was 100% genuine because of how much we loved the lifestyle, the culture and everything that goes along with being in an indie band.  Sure, we had gimmicks and merch. But, seldom were we seen tending to our “inventory” or “profit margin”. No, we were chillin’, smokin’, talking with people. It was the human aspect, though through workers eyes, that kept us glued to the lifestyle.

There’s a legend of a man who wrestled women big and small
In Memphis, they wanted to see him stapled to a wall
He came to them from Hollywood where he was a star and admired
It got ugly for ol’ Andy Kaufman when The King had him Pile-drivered

Well, that poor young Andy sure made those people mad
He would call them ignorant slobs and confuse their Moms for Dads
He would teach them about hygiene. He said “Soap is easy to apply
Just run the bar under some hot water and you could be a clean guy”

The situation down in Memphis kinda got outta hand
Kaufman met The King on Letterman to settle this feud like a man
Tempers flared that evening and the conversation grew physical
And wouldn’t ya know. For years, people would pay to watch their musical

And Andy would sing

I’m The King
I’m The King
I’m The New King of Memphis Tennessee
I knocked out Lawler flat, last week
Oh, I’m The King
I’m The King
I’m The King of Memphis Tennessee
I’m from Hollywood – I’m a star
I’m from Hollywood, California
I make movies and TV shows
In Hollywood, California

Would you believe me if I told you this was a story of teamwork and trust
About a common love for something but you can argue if you must
However, it’s compelling and nothing too complex
Andy played a heel on TV but he never cashed them wrestlin’ checks

[Song below lyrics. Follow along!]

He is an artist, a performer
A great wrestler
The Best In The World
In the land of giants, he’ll take what he wants
Always walking in his own direction

There was a time no one could see
What was right in front of them
A future champion that no one could defeat
The longest run in years
434 days

The best in the world
The real face of the show
Just like The Thing when he clobbers
The best in the world
Chicago’s CM Punk
As if he were ever in a class with jobbers

Now is the time
How can you not see?
The only reason I’m even out watchin’ TV
Heel or face, he’ll hold the whole crowd
Cue his theme if you wanna make it loud

The best in the world
He’s a phycologist
Just like Fraud before he went nuts
The best in the world
Chicago’s CM Punk
Just like the wolf on the night bus

Just like The Thing when he clobbers

He is an artist, a performer
A great wrestler
The Best In The World
In the land of giants, he’ll take what he wants
Always walking in his own direction

The best in the world
The real face of the show
Just like The Thing when he clobbers
The best in the world
Chicago’s CM Punk
As if he were ever in a class with jobbers

The best in the world

It was grade seven when we started calling him Dean
He wore a lot of wrestling t-shirts back then
He didn’t care to keep them clean
In that grade that I started playing in other bands as a drummer
It wasn’t until the 12th grade we started this project and nothing could be funner
Telling jokes poorly over offensive guitar frequencies
As Dean O’Mac struggled behind the drum kit frequently
In Toronto, I finish college and Dean O shows his face
We found Munchie in hockey rink, outdoors
And things began to change
We wrote songs, put out albums, got a car and we toured
We named that car Betty
She was a shitty old ford
Now, Dean O’Mac, you rest well
And Munchie and I will move forward
Your name is forever carved in this sword
The one that we’ll use to chop down hate and our enimies
Don’t worry dude
I hear you
Your vibes, they are sent to me

We miss ya O’Mac
We all want ya back
It way hard to believe – o
We miss ya O’Mac
Your cough and your hack
We all want ya ya back, Dean O
We all want ya back, Dean O

If you wanna get down to the black, blue and green of it
There’s a train that leaves everyday
You’ll wanna do more than just be seen with it
Take a ride. A trip
Go to school for free
When you stop livin’ for you
You’ll read your own eulogy

Cuz it all comes down to you
Always down to you
Take a risk or three
It all comes down to you

If you wanna get me started on the cosmos and stars
I’ll talk about the truth I found in this guitar
Sit back, relax and enjoy what’s around
Cuz when you stop lovin’ for you
You may as well be six feet underground

Cuz it all comes down to you
Always down to you
Take a risk or three
It all comes down to you

Shock treatment on a Tuesday
Countin’ down the days ’til Friday
Feelin’ tight around my neck and chest
Like chewin’ gum; it’s hard to digest

Nice dreams of ice cream – I’m rollin’ around
I haven’t got out’a bed – I’m upside down
Fortune is torture – I’m dressed as a clown
Pictures of statues in black and white evening gowns

Strap’d to a simple routine
Gotta remember to keep the corners clean
If the inspector sticks in his nose
my head’ll hang low on th’ long walk home
I gotta get out
I gotta walk out
It’s like doin’ a days worth o’ work with a cops’ snout
Watch out
Cuz rush hour is packed at the exact same time everyday

Nice dreams of ice cream – I’m rollin’ around
I haven’t got out’a bed – I’m upside down
Fortune is torture – I’m dressed as a clown
Pictures of statues in black and white evening gowns

A crafted disaster on the verge of a break out
We’re The Dean Project an’ we’re about to put come cake out
So, lovingly lick your lips in anticipation
An’ stay tuned to every music publication and station if you’re smart
Cuz we’re working endlessly to put out a deadly kinda art
We do this for the craft and for the people who paved the way
We’ll pay our dues an’ play the game to be in that place one day
Big Clouds
Big Clouds
Big Clouds
This time, we’re not fuckin’ jokin’ around, people.